The Last Step To The Altar

add

I want to share this simple idea on the most controversial subject on earth; the keys to a successful marriage. Is there any thing like that in your dictionary? Most persons now believe that having a successful marriage is a thing of luck. They believe that there are no clear cut principles to finding the right person to marry. To a great extent this sounds like the truth because all the theories that have propounded by   most marriage experts have not help in solving the problems people face in marriages. To further prove this, if you search for write-ups on the key to a successful marriage on the google search engine, you will get millions of results and yet millions are still making mistakes in the choice of who to marry on daily bases. Millions of divorce letters are being signed everyday.

In fact, it is now a thing that most people do with pride. Great political and religious leader who are suppose to prove their leadership competence through the way they handle issues in their homes are also part of this shameful act. Rev. Chris Okotie; the general overseer of one of the biggest churches in Nigeria divorce his beautiful wife for a reason he was not bold enough to share with the media, the president of France; Nicholas Sarckozy divorced his former super model wife; Cecilia Attias and gladly asked the most beautiful women in France to parade themselves for him to choose a wife out of them, to mention but few, movie and music stars in the world are involved in at least two cases of divorce in their life time as if they were blind when they were making the decision to marry the person and the ordinary people are fast becoming part of this shameful act. Looking at the things happening in marriages today with all the principles and guidelines that have been made available to help people make the right choice in relationships, by millions of marriage expert around the world, do we say the problem is with the principles or the people?

For me, I think the problem is with the people and not the principle. If you have been following my write-ups on this site you would’ have read some article I titled before you say i do-preparing for marriages, keys to finding your rightful partners, Dating all these will enhance your choice into relationship, it further proved that the problem is with the people and not the principles. Finding the right person in marriage is not a question of how many persons you have dated or how much you know about human psychology. Experience is not enough to help you find the right person to marry. So even if you the oldest person on the planet that is not enough to make know what is right about relationship. Most persons have tried using these factors to approach relationships and still failed.

The question we are now faced with is does it mean that we should just go into marriage and expect anything from the person we are getting married to? The answer to this question is no. you still have a choice, it is possible for you to be 90% accurate about the person you wish to marry. I know most persons will frown at my use of statistics here. If I say you can be 90% accurate am not saying that the person will be perfect in character but that the person will be perfect for you. For this to be possible, you will have to do what most people don’t do in order to know if the person you wish to marry is the type you can spend the rest of your life with. Before you decide to marry a person after you have done your home work about the person, you must turn to yourself to see if those qualities you’ have seen in the person are also in you. This is where the problem lies. People spend so much time making endless list of the qualities they want in the one they wish to marry but fail to ask themselves if they are good enough for such a person. People marry bad people not because they don’t know what is good for them but because there is something bad about them which attract them to bad people.

For the fact that a man knows all the qualities of a wife does no’t mean he has the qualities of a husband the same applies to the ladies. Don’t forget that when something good comes in contact with a bad thing, the tendency of it turning bad will be there. So if you marry a good person when you are not good, with time the person will begin to learn to be like you which could change the person from what you use to know. Aside being bad, the selfishness in human beings makes them to ignore things they are suppose to pay close attention to during courtship.  For example, because a person is nice to you, you fail to see his or her cruel behavior towards others and think it will not turn to you later in marriage. It will turn to you because it’s already there. So after you have done all your research about the person you wish to marry, before you make the final decision to marry the person, turn to yourself and look inward to see if you are eligible for what you are bargaining for and also to see if your attraction towards the person is based on selfish desires or a natural and selfless love. If do this with all sincerity, then you would’ve completed the steps to the altar.       

add